“All right,” Riva decided, “now that that’s settled.”
Nilien wasn’t sure anything at all was settled, but she was willing to pretend it was if Riva and the rest wanted to. They weren’t going to get anywhere but deeper into holes, she was pretty sure, if they kept going.
The “Junie Joins the Girl Scouts” pair of stories, published on October 18, 20011 & 2013.
There are words a mother never wants to hear. I’ve got a list of them; I keep it in a notebook which is otherwise filled with very boring accounting. I don’t want to give the kids ideas.
Our garden has been loving the sun-rain-sun-rain cycle.
Take a Peek!
Originally posted February 13, 2012. Part of the Aunt Family setting.
The bonfire had died down to embers by midnight. The children were asleep, the husbands and brothers drinking beer and playing poker, and the sisters-in-law settled off watching the children.
I was perusing the Cake Wrecks Facebook page the other day (where every follower gets a free invisible puppy!!) when I came across a rather unusual request:
Ahh, so you want to pop open the hood and take a gander inside the wrecks, is that it, Jennifer?
Well, I'm glad you asked.
Hey, Jennifer, you ever wonder how cupcake cakes (ptooie!) keep their icing from falling through all those big gaps?
NOW YOU KNOW.
We just saw last week how a gender reveal cake failed to actually reveal anything - other than plain yellow cake - but here's the opposite problem:
The cake was blue inside with pink icing.
Now I'm going to show you my absolute favorite cake cake wreck of all time, Jennifer, and which I've been hanging onto for just this moment.
First, though, let me explain what (we think) happened:
A bakery was unable to sell a Halloween cake in time, but they didn't want to throw it away or reduce the price. So instead, they simply flipped the entire cake over, icing side down, and re-decorated the other side to make it into a generic birthday design.
CW reader Shannon had no idea of the skullduggery at work until she cut the cake, and found this:
That's a whoooole lotta icing, right there.
(And think how fresh!!)
And finally, I know I posted the video of this over on FB a week or two back, but here's a quick .gif reminder of the importance of proper wedding cake support:
(Watch the original video here to see them both continue to laugh hysterically, which is just adorable. Cutest couple ever!)
Welp, I hope that satisfies some of your blood lust for caketastrophe, Jennifer!
And hey, for the rest of you, the request line... IS OPEN.
Thanks to Cherie O., Leann S., Jaunna, Fribby, Sarah, & Shannon G. for reminding me of those times bakeries accidentally left scissors, a paring knife, and other various cutlery in their cakes - because that was a HOOT. (And also because "TRAUMATIC BIEBER" *still* makes me snort-laugh.)
The woman studied Raizel. “You have skills I don’t?”
“Well, I can’t design a building,” Raizel admitted, “or build one. But in the last two days I’ve been dusted by a pixie, blessed by a spectre, and kissed by what might have been a goddess.” Also by two whores, but she didn’t think that counted. “Also, I grew up on a mountain side, and I have on occasion bound wild goats, a catamount, and once a small wyvern that was getting into the garden. I might be able to help you.”
“If you could, I could start building on time. I can’t pay much - I’m not that rich of an architect yet - but I will put your name on the building. Do you think you can do it?”
“Tie up a wizard? I’m willing to try. The carriage stops in Esteronzerai anyway, doesn’t it?”
“That’s where it turns off to go north,” the woman nodded. “His name is - well, the thing that he calls himself is the Diamond Raven.”
by Lyn Thorne-Alder
Sunday, December 10, 2000
“I need to go to the library for a couple hours. I’ll be home by bedtime.” Cynara held up her bookbag by way of illustration. “Homework.”
“All right.” Dysmas had the lazy, sated look he had after he’d fed. “Be careful.”
“I always am.”
She slipped out the door before he could give her any more orders that pulled and tugged at her mind like imperfect stitches, leaving little rows of discomfort she’d re-position herself to avoid. She left before she had to look at Leo, or at Eriko, and remember to hide everything she was feeling.
Probably coming worldwide shortly after the Chicago GO fest, as I imagine them unlocking it is pretty much a foregone conclusion. Though it seems like Legendaries will be releasing gradually into the raid pool. I'l also heard scuttlebutt that Legendary raid eggs will have an extra-long lead time, to make it easier to coordinate a large group, though I'm not sure where that info comes from.
Someone over on the Silph reddit also did a pretty nice write-up on which pokemon that you can raise now will be most useful for Gen 1-2 Legendary raids: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSilphRoad/
For me, right now I've got one Bite/Crunch Tyranitar and one Rock Throw/Rock Blast Golem, plus the usual complement of Eeveelutions and one each excellent Scizor w/Bug, Houndoom w/Dark and Dragonite w/Dragon, so that's a start at least. Sadly neither of my Omastars have the useful legacy rock moveset, oh well.
Aw, look at the sweet cake for Sarah-Maude's second birthday:
Although, those balloons look a little odd, don't they? Let's take a closer look...
[eyes bulging] Great Scott! Hide the children!!
And I KNOW you see what I see, people, so don't even try to accuse me of having my mind in the gutter. It's the Fireman cake all over again.
Eric N., thank goodness this was for a safely oblivious 2-year-old. Still, given how obvious those balloons are, I'm pretty sure I'd steer clear of this bakery in the future. Unless it was for a bachelorette party, of course.
Raizel took breakfast in the inn’s bar the next morning, feeling well-rested, content, and ready to face the rest of her journey. Perhaps she’d even hire a coach.
The barmaid leaned over the table while she was refilling Raizel’s mug. “There are opportunities around here, you know, for someone as clever as Esterzon Gorenz says you might be. And if you really destroyed that Black Missive he’s been going on about for years-”
Something about the barmaid, or maybe something about the pixie dust still brushed across Raizel’s eyelashes, was a little strange. She looked closer - closer at the clever decolletage, that looked lower-cut and more dangerous than it was - and realized she could see a spark of divinity hiding in the woman’s chest.
Until then, she hadn’t know she could see such things. Perhaps it was just the dust.
“I destroyed the Missive and the, ah, the multi-hued falcon, ma’am.”
Monograms can add that perfect crowning touch of elegance to your wedding cake.
Or, they can look like this:
Proof that sometimes it's better to quit before letting your five-year-old write on the cake.
Still, it could be worse.
The monogram could match the rest of the cake:
Hey, it's not easy to make tinfoil look this good.
If you do find a mistake in your cake's monogram, don't panic. There are plenty of seamless ways for your baker to fix the error.
This isn't one of them.
Now, I'm all for sharing new words, broadening folks' horizons, furthering education, etc, but if you have to explain to the baker of your wedding cake what a monogram is - a "T, J, and H" put together, for example - then maybe, just maybe, a few alarm bells should go off.
Or I suppose you could just take your chances.
After all, what could go wrong?
At least the quotes add a little something "extra."
Thanks to today's wedding wreckporters Anony M., Hilary R., Cyndi P., & Cyndee M., who think all bakers should be required to ask, "Can I quote you on that?"
Kayay appeared as they were leaving Portals and heading for their next class. There was a tall, broad, rad-uniformed student on either side of Kayay, making Kayay look very small and very pitiful indeed.
Desmond knew anything he said would be taken wrong, but Jefshan and Wesley handled it, stepping forward and making fussing noises over Kayay, completely ignoring the goons of Physical Team that were clearly there to escort Kayay.
Once they were gone, possibly believing that the rest of Kayay’s dorm-mates would stop any future escape attempts, Kayay’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I found something.”
Desmond looked at Kayay and from there to the rest of their group. It was Jefshan that asked, carefully, “So… ‘something’? Like, an exit, a dragon, and room full of collars?”
“I found another stairway,” Kayay hissed. “LIke the first one. It was…”
( Read more... )
"Okey dokey, let's just double check that order form."
Decoration: Chocolate dipped strawberry, ganache swirl and chocolate shavings over buttercream.
"Check, check, and check!"
Inscription: Leave blank
Thanks to Ross E., the bakery manager who managed to catch this before the customer arrived. Great work, Ross!
by Lyn Thorne-Alder
Friday, December 8, 2000
“I keep saying that wasn’t me, it wasn’t him! It’s not how these things work!” Rafe had been arguing with Joff on and off since the - the thing. The demon, Abednego called it in his mind, even though he’d been through enough history classes here to know that demon was usually another word for faerie. Close enough, in his estimation.
“Look, it might not have been you, but - things have to change, Rafe. What are you doing to the kid?”
No, not this again. The last time they’d had this argument, the demon had come.
Friday night, I had dinner with kelkyag and sauergeek, who happened to be “passing through” (within an hour of me), at one of my favorite Finger Lakes restaurants, Stone Cat. We plotted and talked fiction and families and many other things, and then, oops, it was 10, so we departed.
Saturday, T. and I went to the Canandaigua Craft festival, where T> bought me an amber necklace and earrings and I bought me two more pairs of earrings from my new favorite local craft show earring vendor.
Then we took longer than planned to finish the drive, which ended at Capriox’s & Talkian’s house for a baby! shower! Baby shower! That was the chillest, most comfy pool-party/picnic/baby shower I have ever been to, and I have dozens of geeky baby onesie ideas in case another one of my geek friends has a baby.
(My contribution, along with some knitted burp cloths ‘cause nothing else got finished, was a John Deere onesie and slipper-socks.)
( Read more... )
How was YOUR weekend?
It's time to play everyone's favorite game:
Hm. Well, it says, "Princess," and there's a scepter and a tiara on it.
So I'm going with "uterus."
"Uterus on LSD."
"Uterus with sprinkles"
"This is getting ridiculous."
And finally, today's bonus round is in the bag:
The magic baby bag.
Hey, Mandi B., Elizabeth A., Vicktoria R., Caitlin & Anthony, Kelly J., & Shayna S., you know how to politely refuse a uterus cake, right? "Thanks, but I gestate."
In a world ...
where it seemed ...
that most cakes were chewed first and THEN sold ...
one cake dared ...
to stand alone.
Made by Sylvia Weinstock Cakes for Jennifer Lopez's birthday
This summer ...
Sunday Sweets presents ...
the story of an elite group of renegade cakes ...
...who could no longer bear to stand idly by and watch the unknowing public be content with things like CUPCAKE CAKES, or NAKED CAKES, and instead decided to show the world, once and for all ...
What a freaking amazing cake really looks like.
With an all-star cast led by Tiersten Dunst, Garnish Paltrow, and Jane Fondant, with a special appearance by Posh Spice,
By Anna Elizabeth Cakes, as featured in Wedluxe magazine
Prepare to be amazed,
Hold on to your seats, as this visual thrill-ride takes you beyond the average world of poorly-piped productions, and into a snowy scene where silvery footprints lead you through a filigree-framed trompe l'oeil forest:
Where larger-than-life seahorses actually *gasp* look like seahorses.
Where you'll find yourself asking in disbelief more than once ...
'Are those real?'
(I'm talking about the flowers, of course).
See why critics are raving:
"Two enthusiastic forks up!"
"I was on the edge of my plate!"
"The taste good movie of the year!"
Coming soon ...
To a bakery near you.
(If you're lucky).
by Lyn Thorne-Alder
Saturday, December 2, 2000
Arnbjörg stumbled out of Jaya’s room sleepily Saturday morning to find the whole crew-plus sitting around the TV. She checked herself compulsively: yes, she was wearing pajamas, yes, they covered everything, yes her hair was tolerable.
“Late night?” Sheba asked. “Jaya said you were out at the dance forever.”
Arnbjörg looked away. “Jaya wasn’t having fun.” She noticed Jaya wasn’t saying anything. “But I was having a good time with the cy’Luca boys.”