Why Coyote doesn't give commandments

From cadhla who created it via yasbetwordsmith who shared it with her LJ list to here because it really, REALLY needs to be shared.

Why Coyote doesn't give commandments.
A friend of mine was talking the other day about God talking to Moses on the mountain, and handing down the commandments, and everything. Which led to the point that my patron deity doesn't really do commandments.

"Well, why not?" was asked.

"Um. Can you see Coyote giving commandments?" I replied.

...but of course, the damage was done, and I had to think about this now. Because that would be the way that my brain works, whether I want it to or not. Stupid brain. And now, after several days of thinking about it, I give you...

The Commandments of Coyote.

I. Thou Shalt Have As Many Gods and Spirits and Personal Trainers and Gurus As You Like Before Me, But You Shalt Not Let Them Block the Exits, and More, You Shall Not Permit Them To Take the Last Beer, For That Beer Is Mine. Seriously. Don't.

II. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife, But Thou Art Totally Welcome To Admire Her Ass When She Walks By, and If It Happens To Come Out That They Are In An Open Relationship, Dude, Tap That Ass As Much As They Are Willing To Allow. Same Goes For the Ladies. Coveting Is Sort Of Stupid, But Sex Is Just Plain Fun, Unless Thou Art Doing It Entirely Wrong.

III. If Thy Neighbor Says 'Hands Off My Wife, Dude', Thou Shalt Listen and Back Off, Because Otherwise, Thy Neighbor Will Be Totally Justified In Hitting You About the Head and Shoulders With Gardening Tools, and Don't Think That I'm Going To Step In There and Stop Him.

IV. Adultery Is Actually Pretty Fun. Commit It All You Like. Just Make Sure Everyone Is Cool With It, Or I Will Not Help You Out Once the Hitting Gets Started.

V. Thou Shalt Not Eat Poisoned Bait. If You Do, Don't Come Whining To Me About It, Because I Am Very Unlikely To Care. Once It Is In Your Mouth, It Is Your Problem, Not Mine.

VI. Of Course Thou Shalt Kill. Carnivores Do That. Also, Swatting Mosquitoes, Sort Of Instinctive. But All Creatures Are Alive Before You Kill Them, and So Thou Shalt Respect Them In Their Lives and In Their Deaths. Thou Shalt Not Kill Without Reason. Thy Neighbor Tapping Thy Wife's Ass? Is Not A Reason. Don't Make Me Set A Plague Upon Thy Ass. Thou Wouldst Not Enjoy It, I Promise.

VII. Thou Shalt Not Hoard. Seriously, Here. If You Have Enough, Share. Only Asshats Bogart Life.

VIII. Thou Shalt Not Be A Martyr. If You Have One Beer, Drink It. Do Not Give It To Me and Then Expect Adoration. Dude, That Was Your Beer, I Did Not Break Your Arm To Get It. Give What You Can Give, and Expect Neither Praise Nor Worship. You Are Not Being Morally Superior, You Are Being A Decent Human Being. There Is A Difference.

VIV. Assume This Is It. Maybe There Is Reincarnation; Maybe Not. Not Only Am I Not Saying, Please Consider the Fact That I Probably Get A Say In Whether You Come Back, and If You Are the Sort Of Person Who Doesn't Do Anything With One Life, Why Should I Waste My Time Giving You Another One? Live Like You Get No Second Chances. You Will Have More Fun.

X. Are You Going To Eat That?


That is all...

It's that time of year again...

No, not the time to stock up on fresh candy because the Halloween sales are so cheap. I didn't think I needed to remind anyone of that little fact. Besides, it's cheaper the day after anyway. No, it's the start of this year's flu season and I'm here to remind you to go out and get your influenza shot. For those of you who don't want to or can't for a specific reason, no problems. But if you're in the majority of folks out there, this is your reminder.

Yeah, I know 'they say' that there are no side effects of the vaccine. But let's face it, some folks get an achy arm and a low grade case of 'just don't feel right' for a day or so. It may be the power of suggestion or real. Makes no never mind. You believe it's happening and I respect that. Heck, I'm in the group myself. But I can say that a day or so of the 'just ain't rights' beats the hell out of 7 to 10 days of the 'I want to die and know I won't so this REALLY sucks''.

Pretty much everywhere in the US you can get the shot from any major pharmacy: Walgreens, Rite-Aide, the one's in Safeways, etc. The cost isn't much [no, I'm not going to guess about the numbers, I don't know] and it's got to be cheaper than several days off work after the Typhoid Marty or Mary at work shares theirs with you.

Also, VA puts them out there for free for veterans registered with the system. That's where I get mine.

You can check here: Flu clinic locater and here: State by state flu clinic locater list for locations close to you.

Come on - a quick shot beats the heck out of days of bathroom camping and Gator-Aide as your 'drink of choice'.


That is all...

Three unique things about you meme

Found on icarusancalion's LJ and I'm passing it on because it looks interesting.

Meme from archae_ology:

* Post three things you've done that you believe no one else reading has done.
* If anyone responds with "I've done that," add another thing.
* Encourage your friends to paste this into their own journal to list the unique things they've done.

Let's see...

1] Spent a week at Adult Space Camp playing astronaut. [Way cool, BTW - I have photos] Adult Programs
2] Spent a month in Israel as a dig volunteer for an site that was hoping to discover if the area being excavated was the lost Philistine city of Gath - the historical birthplace of Goliath [It was determined by artifacts recovered that it was].Tell es-Safi/Gath
3] Flew a patient on a ventilator [life support machine] in the back end of a US Air Force C-140 from Anchorage, AK to Denver, CO. The part that make this unique is I was working at a military hospital as a civilian at the time and was in the Army Reserve not the Air Force. They 'manifested' me as an Army Reservist on TDY [Temporary Duty for Training] because they needed a Respiratory Therapist and the Air Force unit doing the transport didn't have them at the time.

If that doesn't count, I'll toss this into the ring: 4] Spent a few weeks being rocketed by SCUDS in Saudi Arabia in 1991. [Perhaps not unique, but definitely memorable]


Okay - next up?

* happy dance *

A new icon made for me just came in from velvetmafia. If you like it, sprint on over to tinycom. A lot of nice art & furry art at a great price.