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loves_them_all I will state right off that I'm a Ninth and Tenth Doctor fan and know zilch about the preceding Doctors, but I find all of these funny none the less.
30 Things I am Not Allowed to Do on the TARDIS
[Based on Skippy's List, I made this up while procrastinating on homework. ]
1. I will call Donna by her given name and will not refer to her as “Juggs”
* Same goes for Peri
2. When some one says “It’s bigger on the inside”, the correct response is NOT “That’s what s/he said.”
3. The Master’s last name is NOT “Bater”, “Bates” or any other similar variation
4. The Doctor does not torture Mudbloods
*I am not a Mudblood
5. Asking the Doctor if he’s “down with the swirl” is entirely inappropriate, even more so when Martha’s in the room.
6. I will not ask the Doctor to write me prescriptions for Valium.
7. Neither will I ask for notes to get out of class or work.
8 I am not allowed to insinuate that Mickey’s on the DL
9. I will not refer to Donna as “fire crotch”
* Same goes with Mel
* And Turlough
10. Gallifrey is not a suburb of Belfast, nor does my grandmother live there.
11. I will not ask Rose how much she charges per hour.
12. I am not allowed to draw genitalia on the Face of Boe while he’s sleeping
13. I am not Billy Pilgrim, and I will not go back in time to various points in Kurt Vonnegut’s life and tell him I am. That’s just mean.
14. I’m not allowed to spray-paint tinfoil stars gold and use them to trick Aldric into doing my math homework.
15. I will not try to get Novice Hame to “yiff” me.
* Same goes for Brannigan
16. I will not plug my Ipod into the Counsole.
*ESPECIALLY not to play Scissor Sisters.
17. I am not allowed to program K-9 to say naughty things
18. The TARDIS is not the Doctor’s “Love Machine”
19. I am not a Fob-watched Time Lord, no matter how many fob-watches I collect
20. My pants do not contain the Rod of Rassalon.
21. I will not refer to the Doctor’s seventh incarnation as Pennywise the Clown
22. I am not allowed to say new companions are “takin’ our jerbs”
23. I am not allowed to tell Mel she puts the ‘tard in TARDIS.
24. I was not involved in the Last Great Time War, so it’s impossible for me to have flashbacks to it
25. I will not ask Leela for “jungle lovin’”
26. I am not allowed to call a new companion ‘Ensign Ricky’ when we’re exploring an unknown planet
27. The Doctor will not call me Marty, so I should stopping ask him to.
28. I will not produce K-9/TARDIS porn
29. I am not allow to ask if the sonic screwdriver has a vibrate option, and if so can I borrow it.
30. Giving the TARDIS pot/alcohol is not an “upgrade”
That is all...
paanaagena's post to one of the LJ's many Dr. Who communities.loves_them_all I will state right off that I'm a Ninth and Tenth Doctor fan and know zilch about the preceding Doctors, but I find all of these funny none the less.30 Things I am Not Allowed to Do on the TARDIS
[Based on Skippy's List, I made this up while procrastinating on homework. ]
1. I will call Donna by her given name and will not refer to her as “Juggs”
* Same goes for Peri
2. When some one says “It’s bigger on the inside”, the correct response is NOT “That’s what s/he said.”
3. The Master’s last name is NOT “Bater”, “Bates” or any other similar variation
4. The Doctor does not torture Mudbloods
*I am not a Mudblood
5. Asking the Doctor if he’s “down with the swirl” is entirely inappropriate, even more so when Martha’s in the room.
6. I will not ask the Doctor to write me prescriptions for Valium.
7. Neither will I ask for notes to get out of class or work.
8 I am not allowed to insinuate that Mickey’s on the DL
9. I will not refer to Donna as “fire crotch”
* Same goes with Mel
* And Turlough
10. Gallifrey is not a suburb of Belfast, nor does my grandmother live there.
11. I will not ask Rose how much she charges per hour.
12. I am not allowed to draw genitalia on the Face of Boe while he’s sleeping
13. I am not Billy Pilgrim, and I will not go back in time to various points in Kurt Vonnegut’s life and tell him I am. That’s just mean.
14. I’m not allowed to spray-paint tinfoil stars gold and use them to trick Aldric into doing my math homework.
15. I will not try to get Novice Hame to “yiff” me.
* Same goes for Brannigan
16. I will not plug my Ipod into the Counsole.
*ESPECIALLY not to play Scissor Sisters.
17. I am not allowed to program K-9 to say naughty things
18. The TARDIS is not the Doctor’s “Love Machine”
19. I am not a Fob-watched Time Lord, no matter how many fob-watches I collect
20. My pants do not contain the Rod of Rassalon.
21. I will not refer to the Doctor’s seventh incarnation as Pennywise the Clown
22. I am not allowed to say new companions are “takin’ our jerbs”
23. I am not allowed to tell Mel she puts the ‘tard in TARDIS.
24. I was not involved in the Last Great Time War, so it’s impossible for me to have flashbacks to it
25. I will not ask Leela for “jungle lovin’”
26. I am not allowed to call a new companion ‘Ensign Ricky’ when we’re exploring an unknown planet
27. The Doctor will not call me Marty, so I should stopping ask him to.
28. I will not produce K-9/TARDIS porn
29. I am not allow to ask if the sonic screwdriver has a vibrate option, and if so can I borrow it.
30. Giving the TARDIS pot/alcohol is not an “upgrade”
That is all...
